Should You Ever Go Backwards?

Me don't want to be in boring domestic bliss!!

Sorry for the silence folks- been mega busy- but here I am!! Got a few topics whizzing around in my head but this one popped out first!

I am a great believer in going boldly forward or going forward boldy- whichever way round is the correct non- Star Trek version. What I mean is- live life with no regrets, don't look back and get maudlin, learn your lessons and move ever onwards with a big happy smile :)

So over the past 6 months have had ever single significant ex boyfriend and one ex fiancee get in touch and re-declare undying love for me- yes freaky I know! Was the universe trying to tell me something? Were they all going through a mid life crisis at the same time? Had they all just split up with someone and done that bloke thing- you know- ooh let me get in touch with the one that got away! Or was it for me to be able to do an Eminem and clear out my closet! Well, needless to say nothing came of any of it- I was nice and polite to all- forgave them their imagined sins and said if that's really the way you feel about me do something about it- show me your undying passion- needless to again none did- exes are an ex for a reason! So I thought it was over bye bye boys!

But the surprise- a suprise blast from the past- who has popped up in the last- was going to say 3 weeks but have just checked the date of the first message- January 1st- so now am worried it's a new year's resolution thing!! Eeek! Anyway before I spotted that was going to say this one could possibly be different! We had our first and only date 7 years ago- at which he declared I am not looking for a relationship- to which I declared well why the heck are you registered on a dating site then???? Grrrr! Anyway that aside we did actually become really good friends after that- culminating in maybe 2 years after that a snog and fumble up north as I call it- after which he promptly disappeared- I now know he started to have feelings for me as I was for him- got scared- ran off and hid- so I met someone who I dated for 2 years- he got married in the meantime!! Complicated- welcome to dating in the 00s! We did have contact by text/ phone a couple of times over the intervening 5 years but that was that- until Jan 1st this year!

So I didn't know he had got divorced again- anyway we met as friends and have met quite a lot as friends since the new year- he's always been a bit flirty- but I am thick can never tell if someone fancies me! Anyway I am really rambling again- long story short- if I want it it's there for the taking- but here's the kicker- I AM SCARED!


After all this time being single and thinking I want a boyfriend/ marriage etc. and now I could have something serious it is scaring the pants off me! I am having blokey thoughts like is this as good as it gets blah blah blah!! Confused? You betcha!! Not that my life is fandabbydosy I am worried it will all change- I guess giving up my card carrying single status is harder than I thought it would be. I don't know why I am feeling like this because it's never worried me in the past! Maybe it's an age thing!

So to return to my original question- do I break my rule and go backwards or do I run for the hills???

Will let you know what happens :)

Update 25th Feb- well nothing has happened this week cos he's ill! Doh!